Roger Ebert reviews The Spy Next Door, a Jackie Chan flick cut from the same mold as every other godforsaken film about spies who have to watch little kids. And just because scathing reviews like this always make me wonder how many of these cinematic turds actually exist, here’s a link to the A.V. Club’s list of such comedies.

Though, okay, in this genre’s defense, I have fond memories of Kindergarten Cop. And don’t you dare pretend to look like That One Guy who didn’t like it when he was eight years old.